The Barbed Wire has taken upon itself to provide their readers with an accurate and in-depth analysis (pronounced here as "an-al-ee-SEES". Cause, we are waxing intelligent here) of the reaction of various Texas schools the Auburn fans rushing the field after their historically awesome (no hyperbole) victory over Darth Saban and his Evil Empire.
University of Mary Hardin-Baylor (only undefeated collegiate football program in Texas, as well as the most successful collegiate football program in Texas history...look it up chump): "We would so rush the field just like that in a similar situation! Hell ("praise shakinah glory" for the BSM folks), our student body would cover the whole 45-45 yard line!! It'd be virtual puddle of Purple and Gold!
Texas: Oh...the former glory.
Baylor: Those Auburn fans are such amateurs. They really should ask some pro's how to rush the field, we are really experienced. We've had reasons to rush the field for going on four years now. WE HAD TO TAKE THE TARP OFF this year! What's best?! Its never going back on! (Baylor will be moving to a stadium better suited to average attendance next year, negating the need for a tarp after Art Briles ascends bodily into heaven, or Texas drives a dump-truck load of cash up to his house after Mack goes to that hill country pasture where old ball coaches go to retire, {i.e. his ranch} and Baylor returns to its former in-glory.)
SMU: Its been so long, I'm not even sure we could figure out how to get over the railing.
Tech: 30 Seconds: Why are the Goal Posts still up?
60 Seconds: Sum-one wanna hand me another beer and tell me WHY THEY ARN'T SHUVIN' THEM GOAL POSTS INTO THE 'BAMA BAND SECTION?!
1 Minute: Field ain't on Fire. This is why the South is just the South and TEXAS RULES!
1 Minute, 30 Seconds: Not one person has been tazed, maced, or arrested. This is like rushing the field at one of them fig'r skatin' shows. Hand me a tortilla and lets go find some field to get more drunk in.
No comments:
Post a Comment