AN OPEN LETTER TO THE "BAYLOR NATION"

The Barbed Wire has gone on hiatus for the past year.  We apologize to our readers across the globe (seriously, we had someone in Austria or Indonesia, or somewhere like that, reading our profound blog of wisdom).  We basically disappeared when Yes to Texas became what we had hoped to become.  We tipped our hat to the Yes Boys and kept quiet.

But all it takes to rile us back up is some good old Lone Star Republic football. And today, we would like to deliver our post to the so-called “Baylor Nation.”  Ronald Reagan once said, “A country without borders is not a country at all,” so we’ll go ahead and define the boundaries of this “Baylor Nation” for you.

Baylor Nation:

Northern Border:

Coleman Street in Lacy Lakeview, Texas

Western Border:

Somewhere around N Ave E in Crawford, Texas, where someone flew a BU flag on a sidewalk

Eastern Border:

Texas Loop 340 and Elk Rd. in Waco, Texas.  Baylor fans attempted to expand the border by painting over Old Sarge on the Aggie Barn in Reagan, Texas, but it was back in maroon by the end of the week.

Southern Border:

Unknown.  Belton has a university that started with Baylor, but its football program got too good to qualify as “Baylor” material, so the border is somewhere around Temple, Texas, where Lache Seastrunk came from.

Baylor fans,

This football season has given you much to be proud of.

Actually, take your bear claws and scratch that thought.  The last SEVERAL seasons have given you a lot to be proud of.  For starters, you’re no longer “measly little Baylor” or the “Nobodycares Bears.”  This isn’t the Kevin Steele or Guy Morris show, where you guys served as tackling dummies for everybody but Kansas.  You’ve qualified for bowl games (and won) for the first time since 1994, you’ve been a possible conference champion for the first time since the Southwest Conference, you’ve been the better team against in-state opponents Texas and Texas Tech, your quarterback won the Heisman Trophy, and you’re opening a brand new stadium on the Brazos River next year.

That’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of!

So… why are you still comparing yourselves to Texas A&M?

Over the past two football seasons, anyone could log onto Facebook, Twitter, MyFace, Twitbook, Instasnapper, or whatever else is out there, and it wouldn’t take but a few seconds to find Longhorn fans criticizing Aggie victories for being “easy wins” or against “overrated teams,” and when the Aggies lost to LSU, suddenly, it was “Aggies suck” all over again.

This came from the same crowd that wants to fire their coach after one conference loss and booed him when his face went up on the jumbotron.  Classy bunch.

But in 2013, following Baylor’s loss to Oklahoma State (the first real team on your schedule), Baylor fans were all over the place on Facebook, claiming “Aggies suck!” and “Manziel sucks!”  Seriously?  A team loses to Bama, Auburn and LSU and “sucks” because of it?  Who is Bryce Petty?  Would Baylor beat Bama, Auburn and LSU?  The only way that would happen in 2013 would be if a genie appeared and granted you three wishes.

This isn’t to say that ALL Baylor fans are delusional.  Some of you are still quite amiable, but the growing cocky majority is starting to rub off the wrong way on other fan bases, primarily Texas A&M fans.  If it’s any indication, Aggie fans were actually rooting for Texas Tech over Baylor last week, just to shut the fans up.  Then, Baylor fans started up with the whole “We want A&M in the Cotton Bowl” nonsense, as if they were trying again to sue A&M for leaving the Big 12.  And didn’t Kim Mulkey say something about finalizing the divorce and not sleeping with your ex-husband?

So when is it appropriate for Baylor fans to claim “A&M sucks?”  Is there a time in which this battle cry will be fitting and accurate for Baylor fans to proclaim?

Yes.  When the following events happen, Baylor can claim “A&M sucks:”

1. When A&M actually sucks at football again
2. When sports commentators can name more than one Baylor tradition
3. When Baylor HAS more than one tradition
4. When the strength of Baylor’s schedule is SEC caliber
5. When Baylor is published in land, sea and space research
6. Baylor fans know the words to their own fight song without reading the jumbotron
7. Kyle Field needs a tarp to cover up for the inability to fill seats
8. More people show up to Baylor’s biggest home game than Texas A&M’s biggest Midnight Yell practice
9. More people show up on average to any Baylor home game than Texas A&M’s spring scrimmage
10. Baylor fans learn to respect injured players by shutting up until they’re off the field
11. When people think of college football in Texas, they stop thinking about Texas and Texas A&M
12. Kim Mulkey disappears, and we can all sleep at night
13. Baylor finds a “rival” by merit, rather than marketing (sorry, but the Battle of the Brazos was never a “rivalry” to Texas A&M)

The list could go on.  The point is, nobody cares if your rock-climbing wall is an inch taller.  Nobody cares about who’s better between Texas A&M and Baylor, because the recruiting battle is still between the Aggies and the Longhorns.  Nobody cares who Baylor fans or Aggie fans want to play in a bowl game, because it doesn’t matter in the end.

To be fair, if you’re THAT willing to relive the old times together, we could look at the overall series record, or watch highlights of the game where RGIII was supposed to beat A&M and couldn’t even see straight after the game.  But why bother?  Both fan bases have their own problems to worry about.

Baylor, you’re having a great season.  Kudos to you for doing so.  Honestly, the 12^th Man would probably be rooting for “the Baylor Nation” in the Big 12 if your attitude towards your neighbors on the Brazos wasn’t so up tight and delusional.  You don't have to put down another team in another conference's success to prove you're a good program.  So please, let A&M represent the Lone Star State in the SEC, and you go on doing your thing in the Big 12.  Unless the Aggies and the Bears square off in the Cotton Bowl, it doesn’t matter who’s better.

Oh… and when you play Texas… SIC ‘EM BEARS!

-The Barbed Wire

(NOTE: This letter will probably result in Longhorn fans accusing Aggie fans of doing the exact same thing as Baylor fans.  That's ok.  You're used to being tuned out by now.)