Yes, that's right, we are declaring this day "Davy Crocket Day."
First off, Davy Crockett was everything a man could hope to be: the original Man vs. Wild, a senator, and an Alamo hero. How is there not already such a day for such a man? Washington, D.C. is a little too busy screwing things up right now to present a proposal to create this holiday, so instead of waiting on Barack Obama to understand the honor that should be given to a man in a cookskin cap, we will issue our own executive order right here on Facebook.
But you're probably wondering why September 30th has been selected for such a day. It hasn't. It shall fall on whichever day the Tennessee Titans visit the Houston Texans. Why center a holiday around a game? HISTORY LESSON TIME!
Okay, so, here's the dealio-
In 1997, the Republic of Texas suffered a stroke, which impaired our vision and hearing. Basically, we lost half our body by losing one of our two football teams to the State of Tennessee, robbing us of our vision of baby blue oil rigs on TV and hearing the announcers on the radio. And since there was no stadium waiting on the Oilers when they arrived in Tennessee, they carried with them Houston's most chereished tradition of all: homelessness. They got by with what they could, playing a season in Memphis and another at Vanderbilt (Vandy decided it was time to actually see a decent effort put forth in their stadium).
In 1999, the Tennessee Oilers became the Tennessee Titans. "All remnants of the old Republic have been swept away." -Grand Moff Tarkin
In 2002, lo and behold, the Republic of Texas began to recover. Rather than let everybody down by watching the Dave Campo Cowboys lose each week, we brought forth ANOTHER team to lose each week! (Hank Hill's commentary here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7N5tM-LaBo )
In the following years, the Cowboys finally got good while the Texans stunk like trash. But over time, the Texans improved, learning to beat their divisional foes, the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Tennessee Used-To-Be-Houston-Oilers Titans, and the Peyton Colts (seriously, Peyton was the only reason they had fans. Now, it's all Jerrell Freeman).
Without Peyton Manning, it seems as though it's the Houston vs. Tennessee show now. But how? How did it take so long? Why was there so much waiting? It's simple. We as Texans forgot one of the greatest quotes ever said to any state by a great man. For it to have been said to a state as great as Tennessee makes it even stronger. And with the spirit of this quote, TODAY, the HOUSTON TEXANS shall remind the TENNESSEE TITANS why they made a huge mistake in leaving the Republic of Texas. The HOUSTON TEXANS shall remind the TENNESSEE TITANTS that they are NOT welcomed in Clutch City.
They shall remember history. They shall remember the Alamo.
"YOU MAY ALL GO TO HELL. I'M GOING TO TEXAS!" -Davy Crockett.
Kickoff is at 12:00 pm (TX Time)
(PS: If you've never read "Davy Crockett Saves the World," I highly recommend it. It's a good read.)
No comments:
Post a Comment